Monday, May 21, 2012

Funny story. WHY HAMBLY??? WHY? And also, SWAG!

A card made with Gauche Alchemy's Neon Color Kit.
Happy Monday folks!
The plan was to get all emo with my latest dramz but all that has to be pushed aside because frankly- who the heck wants to hear all that nonsense, right?
We ALL have trials and tribulations.
I was in the subway yesterday and this dude was asking for money and his story reached "The Iliad"proportions so I gave him a dollar and a smile.

I usually avoid the smiles when I had over the duckets (that's a link to the Urban dictionary- read definition number 5 and laugh yer tail right off)
Smiling signifies an approachable nature and before you know it, you are listening to a smelly dude talk about space aliens zapping people to make them compliant.
TRUE. STORY.

By the way- were you one of the lucky ones who got to see the partial solar eclipse yesterday?
LUCKY YOU!!!!!!
Am I gonna get to see a photo?
LINK IT UUUUP, YO!
Nasa' s "projection" of what you got to see if you lived in
the western part of the US. I won't hate on you TOO much.
Anyway, back to my story...
So about a year ago, this smelly homeless guy sits next to me as Lola and I rode the subway to Central Park. He talks very closely and  intensely about aliens and their culinary particulars for 4 entire stations. (The equivalent of an eternity in terms of nasal comfort).
All because MISS LOLA was all cute and cuddly and smiled at him and said "GOOO!"
BETRAYED by my toddler!
I managed a hasty: excusemeIgottagothanksfortheveryinterestinginformationbutthisismystop...
as I got up and rammed our cheap 35 dollar Chicco stroller into a random pair of ankles in my NEED to expeditiously extricate myself from said conversation.
BING BONG! Slam! went the subway car doors behind me.
Whew! SAFE!
MISS LOLA! NO MORE STARING AT DUDES ON THE SUBWAY!
The smile that attracts thousands- not MINE! Hers!
So I don't smile.
I wear the dog face.
Luckily, the new and improved terrible Twos Lola (or LOLZ 2.0) is more interested in screaming at the top of her lungs that she MUST walk around the subway car and impersonate a human pin ball right this very SECOND! NOW! NOW!! NOW!!!
Which does WONDERS for magically rendering subway seats empty and cancels out the yammering of alien tale-tellers (but not the smell- alas).

So I give up the goods if someone impresses me with their personal version of Paul Bunyan's flap jacks.
Some people would say I'm a fool to encourage that behavior.
Well, I love me a good story and this guy had a major brain disease, Iraq War veteran status, 3 hungry kids (WHY always 3? ALWAYS!) and an electric bill to pay. (electric bill? POINTS FOR RANDOM!)
But WAIT that's NOT all!
He had gotten stabbed several times and was showing the wounds to anyone interested.
HELLO! Positively Homer-rific!
So I paid up.
It's what you do when you live in the city.

By now you are all "I've lost 10 minutes of my scrap blog reading time! WTG MICHELLE!"
Sorry guys.
Maybe you are all: "Why all the emo, Chellster?"
(You can call me that- it would make me happy)

Hambly has decided to call it quits.
If I can't get emo about that I don't know WHAT is worth a good cry.
I've heard rumors that Art Director Allison Kreft Abad is now teaming up with Echo Park so it's not ALL ruin and devastation.
If you can confirm this piece of news for me I would GREATLY appreciate it.
AS IF Echo Park could possibly get MORE awesome!

Also this (which cancels most of the regularly scheduled emo):

I KNOW! Right?
Totes SWAGADOCIOUS!
(NOPE! I did NOT make that up- you can look it up in the Urban Dictionary- my source of choice)

I went to the Keith Haring exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum last weekend.
If you have the chance you should go. 
MuChoS SmOoChEs!
Michelle

11 comments:

  1. Chellster, you slay me! Too funny! You've got your finger on the pulse, Gurl! I hadn't heard about Hambly yet. Very sad, but yeah-if EP has teamed up with Allison, that is a win for them. Congrats on the AFFB Design Team! You are a busy woman!

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  2. Love that card, you have a real flair for neon. I totally developed 'dog face' to avoid subway harrassment. It served me well up North, but has been my undoing down here in Texas (everyone thinks I'm super weird and unfriendly at first). What can I say? I trained myself never to smile over years.
    I totally am with you on the passing of Hambly. Just not sure what I'm going to do. The hoarder in me can't take it!

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  3. Great card and I totally loved the story :D I can relate to the "dog face". Everyone always thinks I'm mad, hehehe.....

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  4. great card! and congrats on your new design team!

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  5. And you can tell a story! Amazing Michelle :) I've been totally MIA and for that I'm sorry...so so behind on so many levels...anyhoo CONGRATS!! on making AFFB's DT..all big hugs to you :)

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  6. LOL Funny, funny story...love the way you put it hehehe
    Yay, so sad about Hambly :/ Maybe it's true though about EPP?!?!
    And congrats on the DT!! YAY you :)

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  7. You're having so much success at the moment, it's making me a little jealous ;) Not because I don't think you deserve it, because you definitely do, but because I'm "stranded" and have only made one layout in the last month, not applying to any teams and such.

    Go you!

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    1. Everyone this lady right here (pointing up) is freaking awesome SAUCE! She puts the A in FAAAAABULOUS! The rocks the scrappy universe and she is in the dumps! This MUST NOT BE! Please run along to her blog and leave lots of love: http://onelifedocumented.com/ :)!!!

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  8. This is the most entertaining post I've read lately. Didn't feel my time was wasted at all...love how you write!

    So looking forward to working on the {a flair for buttons} DT with you !

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  9. This post is full of fun stuff! So first off...great card! So bright and cheery and will make anyones day! Second, the subways stories had me rollin! 3rd, CONGRATS! you rock those buttons!

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  10. Oh, this was such a fun read!!! LOL!!! Congrats on the DT, you are rocking it out girlie :)

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Ok peeps lets CHAT! You tell me what you REALLY think and I PROMISE to keep it open minded here.